Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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