needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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