We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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