I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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