I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
