I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
