Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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