new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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