I can text with my tongue
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
