Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
