smell my finger.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
