They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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