just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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