Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
