Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
