i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
