Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
