Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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