Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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