i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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