I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
