It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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