i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
