I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
