As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
