11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
