if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
