so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
