So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Boobs are out for the taking
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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