You made me cry and you don't even care
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
