Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Jonno hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

Fav 6 4176 1394
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?

Fav 31 6044 856
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes

Fav 27 5109 1386
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

Fav 9 4462 1063
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

Fav 10 2173 846
share tweet
(623): View more from Arizona

I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day

Fav 6 604 943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

The entire state will know me by my boobs.

Fav 3 750 487
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On a side note apparently my brother is gay

Fav 1 160 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.

Fav 0 78 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT