I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
