Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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