please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
