i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
