I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
