I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
