At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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