Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
