have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Everything about him screamed your future.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
