I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
