Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
