I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
