i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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