There was a lot of him and a little penis
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
