butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
