D3 body, D1 cock
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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