i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
