If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
