So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize